So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
