these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
A+ Viking dick
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
