I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
