I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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