i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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