I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
