my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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