Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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