don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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