rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
