i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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