We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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