This girl is more easily done than said...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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