Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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