So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
