As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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