it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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