it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
