i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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