If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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