marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
