Don't you send me to vm
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
