i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
