The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize