Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
