I would go down on you faster than GM stock
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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