Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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