just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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