Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize