if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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