At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
