Sponge bath it is.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
