so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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