Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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