im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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