my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
