I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
