Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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