Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
