i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
