We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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