Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The air taste purple.
Randomize
