..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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