I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
