do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
