Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
