Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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