Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize