And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
