DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
