Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
