Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's blow job season.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize