He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
