There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize