I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
