im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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