her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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