So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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