I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
